My life is extraordinary. In all humility, that’s what it is…it is in no way ordinary. But it isn’t just my luck of the draw as some may believe.
I planned it this way. I purposely evolved into this place, this lifestyle, this mentality, this me. The choice was to be my own creator, or to just watch the clouds go by from deep within my hole in the ground… and that little circle of sky just wasn’t cutting it for me.
To make life beautiful is an absolute necessity for me, and I mean that as literally as one could possibly put it: I cannot afford to mess with unhappiness, stagnancy, and norms. My will for life decays before my eyes when I get stuck. Leah has been horribly close to not surviving on account of her little hole in the ground. More than once.
I came to realize (and I am still in the midst of this realization) that I have an emergency on my hands. I have to create conditions for myself that are so good that they leave no space for the flat-lining that I have dreaded most of my life. I have to wake up to sunrises so beautiful that I will never open my eyes dreading another day again. I need to be so active that I forget what it feels like to be paralyzed with nothingness. I have to see the plants, the flowers, the birds, and the the ocean so often that I never forget I am alive. That’s what it’s come down to. That’s how I have magnetized toward this little island. And no what my next steps may be, I promise myself this today:
I always will take care of myself. I will honor my needs… and if my needs seem extraordinary, if my needs seem rare, uncommon, over-the-top… then let my LIFE be extraordinary, rare, uncommon, over-the-top. And in this way, I will heal myself. And in this way I will grow. That is self love.
I planned it this way. I purposely evolved into this place, this lifestyle, this mentality, this me. The choice was to be my own creator, or to just watch the clouds go by from deep within my hole in the ground… and that little circle of sky just wasn’t cutting it for me.
To make life beautiful is an absolute necessity for me, and I mean that as literally as one could possibly put it: I cannot afford to mess with unhappiness, stagnancy, and norms. My will for life decays before my eyes when I get stuck. Leah has been horribly close to not surviving on account of her little hole in the ground. More than once.
I came to realize (and I am still in the midst of this realization) that I have an emergency on my hands. I have to create conditions for myself that are so good that they leave no space for the flat-lining that I have dreaded most of my life. I have to wake up to sunrises so beautiful that I will never open my eyes dreading another day again. I need to be so active that I forget what it feels like to be paralyzed with nothingness. I have to see the plants, the flowers, the birds, and the the ocean so often that I never forget I am alive. That’s what it’s come down to. That’s how I have magnetized toward this little island. And no what my next steps may be, I promise myself this today:
I always will take care of myself. I will honor my needs… and if my needs seem extraordinary, if my needs seem rare, uncommon, over-the-top… then let my LIFE be extraordinary, rare, uncommon, over-the-top. And in this way, I will heal myself. And in this way I will grow. That is self love.
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