About 5 years ago, I was not in a good place mentally. I felt hopeless about myself, my future, and the world around me. Life was one continuous bad dream, and I didn’t want to participate anymore. One of the things I disliked most was my physical appearance, and something that bothered me terribly was my teeth. I had an accident as a teenager, and had a false crown placed over what was left of my front tooth. The crown was poorly done and was dull and gray against the rest of my teeth, but we could barely afford it anyway, so I was stuck with it. I hated it, and would speak and smile with my mouth closed as much as possible.
One day in the car with my mother, she disrupted my normal sad silence, and spoke up, “Leah, I know you are feeling bad, but I want you to know that I am here for you, and if there is anything I can do to help…” I cut her off. “There’s nothing you can do,” I told her. “But let me ask you this,” she said, “if there were anything that you could do right now just to make things a little bit better, what would it be?” And without hesitating, I surprised myself with my answer. “I would fix my tooth,” I replied. I didn’t even think about it, it just came out. Of all the random things that would alleviate my depression, “I would fix my tooth.” I remember it to this day.
It was probably just a week later from that car ride when I was in my bedroom getting ready for work, and I felt something loose in my mouth. I ran to the mirror in horror, to find that my front crown had a crack right down the center. I had not hit it on anything, or bit anything hard. It just broke. Not realizing the magic that had just happened, I called my dentist and rushed to the first available appointment I could make. “The crown was weak,” my dentist said, “but we will make you a new one. We’re very sorry. You’ll only have to pay for the normal dentist fees.”
I went home that day more excited than I had been in a long time. In a just a week or two, my new crown was fitted, and to my utter bliss, it matched perfectly. I had my smile back. And you know what? I began to smile more, which meant that I let myself have more reasons to smile. My well-being changed dramatically from that day forward. The very thing I needed came to me, and all I needed to do was just let it come.
One day in the car with my mother, she disrupted my normal sad silence, and spoke up, “Leah, I know you are feeling bad, but I want you to know that I am here for you, and if there is anything I can do to help…” I cut her off. “There’s nothing you can do,” I told her. “But let me ask you this,” she said, “if there were anything that you could do right now just to make things a little bit better, what would it be?” And without hesitating, I surprised myself with my answer. “I would fix my tooth,” I replied. I didn’t even think about it, it just came out. Of all the random things that would alleviate my depression, “I would fix my tooth.” I remember it to this day.
It was probably just a week later from that car ride when I was in my bedroom getting ready for work, and I felt something loose in my mouth. I ran to the mirror in horror, to find that my front crown had a crack right down the center. I had not hit it on anything, or bit anything hard. It just broke. Not realizing the magic that had just happened, I called my dentist and rushed to the first available appointment I could make. “The crown was weak,” my dentist said, “but we will make you a new one. We’re very sorry. You’ll only have to pay for the normal dentist fees.”
I went home that day more excited than I had been in a long time. In a just a week or two, my new crown was fitted, and to my utter bliss, it matched perfectly. I had my smile back. And you know what? I began to smile more, which meant that I let myself have more reasons to smile. My well-being changed dramatically from that day forward. The very thing I needed came to me, and all I needed to do was just let it come.
To some, this may seem like a tiny, barely significant coincidence, but I know better. My smile within knows it, and my smile without knows it too. Over time, I have learned to know the magic for what it is, and so I have made it my reality by expecting it. The day my tooth cracked, life winked at me. Do you realize when life is winking at you? Because I promise you this: coincidence does not exist.
1 comment:
Thanks for writing this.
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