Love

Today I return to blogging... Not to have people read, but because I realize I need to express myself. Love is Supposed to be lovely, but today it hurts. I love so much that I turn away from it... I love so much that I can't bear to be loved while I'm not capable of loving others the way they derserve. It's an ongoing battle for me... Be present and disappointing or just be absent. Even romantically, I haven't found anyone who I can fully love. I look for love that is already restricted, only to find myself sad and yearning for more. I love deeply, profoundly, and really. I just can't find the magic balance to have it felt by those I love. Feeling sad.